


Before I Go

by neverwitch



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Bittersweet, Emotional, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 10:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7099153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverwitch/pseuds/neverwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the end of the end of the world and the restoration of Charles' school, the time has come for himself and his old friend to part ways again. But there was one other scene the director never showed us. It is the last scene--perhaps the best scene. But certainly not the happiest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before I Go

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I just re-read my work and found out something terrible. Way too many grammatical errors. Shit! So I edited them and re-worded a sentence or two. Other than that we're good to go :)

"I suppose I can't convince you to stay?"  
Charles asked, half-hopefully. But he already knew the answer. Perhaps that was the only reason his heart didn't sink all the way down when Erik shook his head.  
"You can 'convince' me to do anything, Charles."  
"You know I'd never do that."  
"Then, I'm afraid not."  
The others were looking on at the pair, watching. They could all see the well-hidden emotion of the two, spoken and expressed by neither. Raven especially. She narrowed her eyes at Charles and observed him closely. Charles tried to keep his facial expression neutral. He didn't want to seem as desperate as he felt.  
"Why?" He asked. Looking up at the face of both good and evil, he couldn't help but silently beseech him in his head.  
'Please. Stay.'  
Erik could only reply,  
'No.'  
"Grief makes one restless, Charles. Besides, I don't think I'll be able to handle your lifestyle twice."--was what he actually said. A tired smile accompanied the lightness of his bitter words, and for a moment the professor didn't know what to say. What was there left to say? What was there other than--  
"Goodbye, old friend."  
The professor couldn't stop the wistfulness from leaking into his voice as he uttered those three parting words. He longed to add things like, "I'll miss you," "I'll always think of you," "Come back to me soon." But he didn't think exposing such personal feelings to the young students around him was an appealing idea, nor was he sure how Erik would take it. So he bit his lips and remained silent. He watched as Erik turned to go. How many more years would they have to forgo to see each other again? Surely not another decade? He clenched the metal armrests of his wheelchair in spite of himself. He could feel Raven's eyes on him, trying to gouge his thoughts. His will was calmly letting go of Erik, but his heart still resisted and yearned after that man.  
God, why was it so hard to let him go?  
"Take a turn about the garden with me Charles, before I go."  
A quiet request. One that he was only too happy to comply.  
"Of course."  
He pushed the invisible button with the signal of his neurons to align his wheelchair next to Erik's footsteps. They left together, with the eyes of Raven, Peter, Jean, Scott and Kurt trailing behind them all the way out the wooden door. Once they were out of ear-shot, Peter rumpled his silver hair, slightly confused.  
"Do ya think they'll be okay?" He asked dubiously. Raven heaved a sigh.  
"Truth be told, I really don't know."  
* * * * *  
The almost inaudible hum of Charles' wheelchair was the only thing that kept complete silence at bay between them. For a while, neither spoke. To any other passerby, it would have seemed as though they were two strangers lost inside the school grounds, aimlessly wandering about. Erik was, in fact, in the lead. He never went ahead of his companion, but it was clear from the slow certainty of his steps that he expected Charles to follow whenever he turned a corner or took a fork. The younger man half-rolled, half-floated beside him, patiently waiting for him to speak.  
They stopped underneath an old cherry-tree, now full of green foliage instead of pink blossoms. The afternoon rays hit the leaves and filtered through into their faces, making emerald shadows fall across their own. A couple of white butterflies fluttered their way through a distant patch if lilacs, while the buzz of a single honey-bee gave a lazy lilt to the spring atmosphere. All was quiet and peace. No one could have remembered this place to have been piles of rubbish only 24 hours ago, had it not been for the few misshapen statues here and there. Damaged busts with seams on their noses and necks with open cracks were the lone reminders of the disaster.  
Charles opened his mouth first.  
"You know, Erik...if ever you feel like settling down...you know we'll be here for you." He hinted. The brunette's face was turned away from him, towards the tree, but Charles thought he could see a small smile lift the man's cheeks.  
"You mean YOU will be here?" He asked. Charles blushed a little at the directness, and nodded.  
"I wouldn't have to wait if you decide to stay now, though."  
For a moment, Erik said nothing. Charles wondered if his resolve was finally giving away, if he was struggling. Could there be any hope?  
"Are you saying you are willing take me in?"  
"Yes."  
"As a family?"  
"Yes, Erik."  
Erik closed his eyes. He clenched his brows, as if in pain.  
"You see, that's exactly why I have to leave."  
He turned to look at his friend. His green orbs found Charles' brilliant blue.  
"Every time I have a family of my own. Every time I have someone to love, even give my god-damn life for. It always ends the same way. Something always takes them away from me, and somehow I'm always the last one to survive."  
There was a small tremor in his voice, and his breath hitched just a little. Just a little. No tears sprang forth.  
Kneeling down in front of the wheelchair, Erik gently lay his hands on Charles' own and gripped the armrest with hesitant strength.  
"I'm frightened, Charles. If I join you and Raven and everyone else as a family, I'll start to be happy again. And then I'll forget my anger and fears for a while."  
"Erik--"  
"But it won't last, it never does. I'm afraid I might lose you, too. I might lose you too, and then where do I go?"  
"You won't. We'll protect each other. We're--we're mutants, we can do that. We're strong enough, we can--"  
Erik cut him off by shaking his head. Charles might be strong enough, but HE wasn't. He wouldn't be able to stand another loss, he was too broken already. He could still feel the shattered pieces shivering beneath his skin.  
He had to leave.  
But before that...  
He shifted a little on the ground. He leaned forward, a bit closer to Charles and a bit farther from everything else.  
"I want to give you something before I go." He murmured softly. He kept his gaze fixed on Charles' own, and the latter couldn't even think of looking away. The professor was suddenly hyper-aware of their proximity, the closeness of his body, his eyes, his nose, his hair, his lips--everything that was Erik. His mind was suddenly so full and so blank at the same time, numb yet so, SO awake. He didn't know that his eyes had widened, his pulse quickened, his own lips slightly parted. He could only feel the heat of the afternoon and the intensity of anticipation.  
"What?" He mouthed faintly. Erik smiled, and half closed his lids. His long lashes framed his next word.  
"Guess."  
Then, lifting his hand, he cradled the back of Charles' head and allowed their lips to touch.  
Gently.  
Softly.  
Intoxicatingly.  
A sharp intake of breath adorned the chafing of their lips as Erik moved tenderly against Charles, spelling out what he'd never had a chance to say before this hour.  
It was some seconds before the other could respond. But once the initial shock had melted away into a puddle, Charles inclined his head and started to kiss him back.  
So strange.  
So perfect.  
So alien.  
So right.  
They were moving together now, their mouths a magnet for each other. They could both feel the warmth emitting off of one another's body. They could hear the other's heartbeat over the sound of their kissing. Without thinking, Charles wound his arms around Erik's back and drew him even closer. He could feel his limbs aching for more contact, and his chest was in pain with longing.  
"Erik..." he uttered breathlessly as his friend let out an equally shaky laugh and made to move away. He released his hold on Charles' neck.  
Charles didn't want that.  
"No," he whispered, pulling him back in with his teeth by the bottom lip. Erik moaned out an incoherent answer as he felt Charles' tongue on his own, hungry and slick and so full of unspoken wishes both felt sure would never come true.  
If there could be anything so wonderfully sweet and hatefully bitter, it was this. Their tongues tasted of licorice candy in each other's mouth as the lump of sugary joy quickly dissipated itself into heartache.  
Charles carefully traced the line of Erik's sharp teeth with his soft muscle, committing to memory the map of this intimacy, not knowing when they'd share this much freedom again.  
Freedom. It was what Erik felt in Charles' embrace. He was free within his arms and a lonely wanderer outside of them. In that short moment, he took all he could and gave what he had left, taking in the touch, the scent, the sound; everything he would have to leave behind.   
He pulled back a little when a drop of warm water met his cheek. Opening his eyes, he realized Charles was crying.  
* * * * *  
"What's taking him so long?" Kurt asked no one in particular. Jean shrugged.  
"Maybe they're having a hard time saying goodbye."  
"I wonder why Maggie's so hard-on about leaving," Peter muttered, staring into the cold fireplace. "I mean, he could just stay and be best buddies with the professor again. He sure looked like he wanted to."  
Raven snorted at Magneto's new nickname.  
"So you want him to stick around?" She asked. Peter picked at his goggles.  
"Well, yeah. I just got to meet the guy and he's my father and all that."  
Jean and Scott and Kurt glanced at each other, eyebrows raised a mile high. Seeing their faces, the silvery mutant grinned.  
"I guess I never told you guys. I didn't know it myself till 'bout ten years ago. So my mom told me she knew this guy once who could control metal......"  
And he was off. The others listened, engrossed in this fascinating revelation. They occasionally interrupted him with questions like,  
"So your hair color's brown without the dye? Wait. IS that dye?"  
"Why did he leave your mother, though?"  
Raven tuned in now and then, amused, but her mind was rather far away from Peter's story. She was thinking of Erik and--  
"Charles."  
It was in the middle of the boy's lively description of his break-in into the Pentagon when she welcomed the professor back. There he sat in his wheelchair by the door way, looking a little lost. The others subsided their laughter when they saw him. They couldn't know how deep his relationship with Magneto was, but they could see the loss in the forced smile he wore. Only Raven spotted the unusually ruddy lips and slightly moistered eyes.  
Walking up to her friend, she put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  
"He didn't stay."  
Charles looked up and met her sympathetic eyes. Then he found Peter's curious ones.  
"No," he replied. "No, he did not."


End file.
